Top 7 Reasons Why you are still Single?

Date: 29 May 2024    Written by: Javeria Khan

Introduction.

Relationships and companionships are necessities for humans. In the story of human origin, when Adam and Eve were made, the very first humans were made as a couple. The concept of companionship was very different for our ancestors, where the primary function of human life was survival and producing progeny. Thus, mankind has gone through various disasters in history, from the Ice Age to the Metroid and volcano eruptions. These had destroyed the ancient civilization, and the survival of the fittest was worshipped.

Humans marry and produce heirs for the purpose of survival, and the selection of men and women is also based on these criteria. Galant men are preferred over weak ones, and fecund women are preferred over infertile.

Globalization and industrialization have changed the direction of the human race; now, nations do not worry about their existence but increase the quality of life.

In changing the goal of mankind, our standard of choice has drastically changed. The world has gone through an intellectual revolution, and people demand rationality and reasoning behind every matter. Even though it is about choosing the right partner, and yes, logical reasoning should be considered while choosing a partner, we will discuss how that has affected the bonding between couples.

The ratio of being single is higher among men than in women worldwide, and it is shocking because men are polygynous; their ancestors used to have more than one female partner, but why this paradigm shift?

Not only men but women are also choosing not to have any partners. Recently,  Trent skyrocketed on TikTok, where people are posting their confessions that they are single, they want to date, but they don’t have any option, and mostly women are in their thirties. Now I will give you the reason why both sides are infuriated and frustrated with each other.

Top 7 Reasons Why you are still Single?

1- Not Putting Enough Efforts.

There are many signs that indicate a lack of effort and attention, such as not spending time together, not arranging dates, ignoring, or not wiling to compromise on planes just to help you.

We grow up listening to stories where men stand all day in the heat just to catch a glimpse of their ladylove. Even replying on time is a genuine effort.

If men and women think they are blessed or superior naturally, the universe deserves to treat them with all love just because who they are is a delusion. If you think you are charming, pretty, and skilled, remember that there will always be more pretty, charming, and skilled people than you.

Your partners, if you are in a relationship, deserve the effort because everyone makes a silent effort, and it is shallow to mention your efforts every time.

The radical feminism and toxic muscularity have put both genders on a pedestal, telling them they deserve the world while you are nothing is gibberish.

Ask your gurus why they are single and why every person rejected them on date.Why do opposite genders dislike them, and why don’t they have peaceful relationships?

One piece of advice worth mentioning is that your efforts must align with your role. Women aren’t made to earn money for their whole family, paying for vacations. Similarly, men should be least likely to put effort into home decoration, etc.

2. Unrealistic Standards.

This one is common: we humans psychologically overestimate our capabilities, and often narcissistic behavior causes us to have unmet delusional standards. If you ask someone what the criteria of their ideal partner are, they will list down so many things, and when you ask what you will bring to the table, they will give the most average answers, such as loyalty, time, and hotness! Which is not an extraordinary standard.

We never learn self-evaluation, so as a result, self-criticism and self-righteousness rise in our personalities.

Self-evaluation is a journey of introspection, a mirror to identity, to correctly evaluate your worth in society. When we are lazy, resentful, self-obsessed, and disloyal, how can we expect our partner to be an ideal lover? When we don’t even know how to receive and reciprocate love.

I call this inner work: meeting your dark side and channeling that energy into positive qualities. It does take time and effort to become a high-value person, but when you have high-energy people around you, you can sense it and respond according to it. That’s how the law of attraction works.

We are the most narcissist generation, and it is affecting our capability to bond with others, especially in relationships. As I said, most efforts are silent efforts. We need to put on glasses that magnify the effort others are making. In therapy, it is very difficult to make someone believe that they are wrong. Many psychological factors come into play, like a fragile ego, unconscious conflict, defense mechanisms, etc.

Social media has played a crucial role in making people delusive about relationships; most of the content is fake and made to gain views. Believing in such an influencer is an act of dull mind. Set your standards based on your self-evaluation, and then you will get out of your own unearthly heaven.

3. Change in priorities.

Changing in the traditional roles of male and female leads to a change in perspective towards marriage and long-term relationships, as society is becoming more accepting of the idea of singularity, and now it is no longer seen as a failure; people are opting for it deliberately.

Now, singlism in many countries is seen as a choice rather than an outcome of low self-esteem and poor social skills. It is seen that when society becomes comfortable with some phenomenon, people start adapting it more openly.

Women have also changed their priorities; the role of women portrayed in movies has shaped their thinking. Most women focus on themselves and earn enough money to support themselves. They do not depend on the man for their bread and butter. The major attraction for women in men was money; now that they are hustling themselves and earning equal to men, they prefer to be single and entangled in a relationship.

During an interview in the 2000s, Cher narrated,

My mom said to me,You know, sweet heart, one day you should settle down and marry a rich man.I said,Mom, I am a rich man.”

The reason why men are choosing to be single is difficult to evaluate, as this behavior was recently noticed and research is being done, but we still don’t have concrete evidence regarding the specific hypothesis.

Some of the commonly seen reasons are skill deficit, can’t match the standard of girls, self-esteem issue, availability of sex, porn consumption, fear of rejection, change in priorities, and being single by choice.

Men also handled loneliness negatively; the cases of depression and anxiety are much higher in single men as compared to women.

4. Radical Feminism.

Since the feminist movement started in 1848, its primary goal has been to change the attitude of society regarding the role of women and give equal rights to men. Radical feminism has hijacked the feminist movement, which started with positive notions.

In the past decade, a change in the primary goals of feminists has been observed. Most flag bearers of feminism are now vilifying all men based on their gender, termed oppressors, which is again gender inequality. Some feminism has adopted an exclusionary attitude towards the opposite side, since women are playing an equal part in society as men. Media people avoid any program or viewpoint that can offend such groups.

Now that this situation has made women avoid dating, they see relationships as compromises and look down upon women who wanted to adopt a traditional role.

Not only the behavior of women had changed, but also the opinion of men towards women had changed. Rather than becoming inclusive (some maybe), men had turned their backs on women. They see feminism as toxic, sexual entitlement, and hostile to feminity. It is said that when both genders turn away from their gender roles, they embark on singleness.

5. Toxic muscularity.

With the boom of social trends among people, they accept everything that is famous without knowledge of its consequences in society. The culture of alpha and sigma males is on the rise; these terms are introduced by social media influencers to combat radical feminism and regain the pride of men.

Rather than making men responsible for their duties, men are arguing with girls and feel entitled if they are proven right. Their argument is as illogical as a feminist one.

Since the rise of this movement, we haven’t seen any positive moral changes among the men; rather, they are choosing to be single; they are preferring short-term gratification to a long-term stable relationship.

My advice to men is that clinging to these toxic trends will not make you attractive among women; only personal growth and earning handsome money will get you your dream girl. Stop wasting your energy on arguing, feminists; you will get what you want.

Women do find toxic guys charismatic for the time being, but at the end, she will leave you. And your noxious behavior will make you isolated. If you don’t want to be single by choice, then it must be concerning for you.

6. Wrong Choices.

If your criteria for finding a lover are their looks, sexy body, popularity, fun loving, or maybe the first person to ask your number, then you have made the wrong choice. You desire the wrong person, who will make your life miserable and leave you for a better person.

There are many books written on what’s standard you should set for your partner. Traits such as humility, caring, responsiveness, responsibility, loyalty, and kid-loving are much more valuable than looks and body.

All of your life you have been chasing the wrong men, and now you are thirty and have decided to be single because all men are misogynistic and noxious!.

Ask this question: Why does it happen only to you? Why do you bump into men who take you for granted? There is a high chance that your criteria for an ideal partner is whimsical and will not lead to a long-term, secure relationship.

Chemistry is overrated in fantastical; you shouldn’t choose your significant others based on your chemistry; you may sizzling chemistry with your ex-partner but where they ate now.

Not every one is top-notch, but consider your partner’s personality, behavior, and physical traits first.

Most people in the west are single because of toxic dating culture and terrible past experiences; some are divorced and want to live as single. I recall that human nature wants serenity, peace, and stability, but our wrong choices have taken such peace out of our lives.

Not all things may be your fault, but letting others run your life is your fault.

7.  Voluntarily Single

It is seen that people who are eccentric, ambitious, loner, and fiercely independent are likely to be single, but it doesn’t always come out of good things. Research shows that childhood trauma and past bad experiences may lead the person to choose singleness.

In South Korea, the birth rate is waning at a high rate. One of the major reasons is that people are choosing to spend their lives without partners. The economy of the country is a reason behind it; people describe that the cost of living, from groceries to rental prices, is skyrocketing. They don’t have money to afford the expense of children, and dating culture is very toxic, which expects a person to achieve economic success before getting married. Therefore, most of the population of Gen Z is single by choice.

They want to focus on warning and making a better living for themselves. This is just one case study that I have done and will share with you. There could be several positive reasons why a person doesn’t want to date anymore.

And marriage is not for everyone; some are not mentally mature and responsible. If they got married out of social pressure, this would result in a restarted and dysfunctional family.

If you think you can’t handle all the melodrama, then it’s better to live your life alone.

About jkpsyche.com 21 Articles
Hello! I am a author of jkpsyche.com. My real name is Javeria Khan. In this blogs you will find everything related to psychology, philosophy, book review and movie review.

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